Restless Nights and Crazy Dreams

During the long wait for referral, allot of people, including me, start having trouble sleeping. Your brain won't shut off. You wake up constantly. And you can have some pretty strange dreams! There were so many dreams that I can't remember anymore, but I'll share some that I do remember.

The first "Emerson dream" that I can remember was last year, I think around September. I was having trouble deciding between very pale pink and soft sage for the wall color of her room. Then I dreamed one night that I was home with Emerson and she was about 9 months old and I was carrying her into her room for the very first time...her room with bright Fuschia walls! She scrunched up her nose, turned her head to me and said (yes, said...it's a dream) "Oh, Mommy, EWWWWW!!".

I painted her room soft sage.

A while later I had this awful dream that a sinister old Chinese man showed up at my door one night and said he was taking her back because it was a mistake to have given her to me!

Took a while to shake that one off.

One night I dreamed I was sitting in the family room after having put her to bed and she was calling out reasons why she had to get up..."Mommy, I need to potty!"..."Mommy, I need to tell you something!"..."Mommy, I need a drink of water!"..."Mommy, I forgot to take out the garbage!"...HUH???????

Then in March I dreamed I was in China for my referral...I suppose in my dream, a "referral" was actually them giving you a baby right then, because a group of people came in with a child and said "Here's your referral, what do you think?" It was heartbreaking because the child was a six year old with extreme special needs and I was wrestling with whether or not there was any way as a single mother I could make this work but finally had to decline the referral and I was crying and devasted not knowing what would happen to this child. But they said, "That's ok, we just thought we'd try. We'll get you another referral." Then a woman walked into the room with a large, pink polka-dotted EGG and said "here's your referral". I said "THIS?" and they said yes, crack it open. So I did, and inside was a very, very newborn baby (cute little shar-pei wrinkled stage newborn) and I said "Oh, my! How OLD is this baby??" and they looked at me like I was crazy and should know this already and said, "Well just check the care tag on her shirt!" So I checked the care tag and it said she was 6.5 months old.

I'm guessing that was my mind trying to prepare me for anything.

And now the latest dream. Apparently they don't stop once you've gotten your referral. About a week ago, I dreamed I was on the phone with my auto insurance company trying to make a change to my policy and the very concerned agent was trying to talk me out of it. I was trying to add Emerson as a 15-month old driver to my policy and she was trying to tell me it was going to be VERY expensive and I should wait until she was older.

Yikes! :)